Yellow Mug? Red Sweater! WHAT?!

Yellow Mug? Red Sweater!

Yes, exclamation marks are required for this photo!

Here’s why this photo is unrealistic:  It fails the ‘Spy Movie Test’; if it wouldn’t work in spy movies, it wouldn’t work in stock photography..  NO spy has ever uttered “Yellow mug?” only to have the secret spy contact person utter back “Red Sweater!”.   007 would never have uttered that in a street-side cafe in Belarus-I know that, YOU know that-and neither of us even knows where Belarus IS!  For all WE know, it COULD be in Indiana! 

The only thing that’s going to help THIS absurd stock photo of a woman drinking coffee is a hunky lifeguard-cuz she’s drowning in that sweater.  Glub glub.  RIP toots.

Crapometer:  Moderate




Business Suit Girl



This takes bullshit to levels not seen since the Bullshit Emporium pavilion at the 1860 World’s Fair in Wikieup, Arizona-and someone actually died right then & there during the circus act.  RIP Bonkers the Clown.

“Here I am in a business suit trying to look like I’m reading.”  Yeah, riiiight.  Suuure you are.  Went all out on the props too huh?!  What’d that piece of paper run the advertising department, 25 bucks?! 

This photo is laced with bullshit & thus gets a rating of ‘Moderate’.  Wear a N-93 mask to filter out particulates.  You have been warned! 



Red nail polish.

NO one holds a coffee mug w/two hands with an oversized sweater past their wrists!


Coffee mugs are not held with 2 hands simultaneously.
With red nail polish.
While conveniently wearing an over-sized sweater…
up over the wrists…
at a window…
looking out at SNOW.


This photo receives a rating of ‘Moderate’ on the Crapometer due to it having sexual innuendos.